Several years ago, I accepted a position in the Corporate Marketing department of a large bank. Soon I was promoted to Marketing Officer where I found myself working with a power team of women whom senior management depended heavily on to successfully implement huge corporate initiatives. I have to say…we were quite a team making things happen every day at our bank!
Several members of our team were often invited to present at senior management meetings. Sadly, I was NEVER one of them. This frustrated me. Why wasn’t I being invited? I worked just has hard as the others. There were no differences among us. Our education and experience levels were the same, and I was just as talented and skilled as they were.
Having a naturally dominate personality, I promptly asked my boss WHY. He replied, “Starla, the senior management team values and appreciates the quality of your work. We know you’re one of the hardest working individuals in this bank. However, you’re a little rough around the edges and somewhat difficult to deal with. You may not realize this, but you can be quite abrasive. Your soft skills need some work.”
What? Soft skills? What in the world was he talking about? The only thing that truly matters is working hard and getting results, right? WRONG!
This was a big “ah ha” moment for me as this is when I learned that without excellent soft skills, my education, experience and work ethic would only take me so far – personally and professionally.
Long story short, my boss was kind enough to provide me with an opportunity to polish my rough edges. I attended a training course where a DiSC behavioral assessment was used to help me better understand…
- my work behavioral style and its strengths,
- the behavioral styles of my colleagues and their strengths,
- how other behavioral styles react to my style, and
- strategies I can use to build more effective relationships with EVERYONE!
And WOW, the next thing I know, I was presenting at senior management meetings. AND, even more teams wanted me on their team!!! Looking back, I am grateful my boss was brutally honest. Because of him, I received the training needed to become much more self-aware of my work behavior style and how it impacts others. I now know how to utilize my strengths and adapt my behaviors to build rapport with everyone I work with.
Do you ever find yourself asking, “Why didn’t I get that job? Why am I always being overlooked for promotions? Why wasn’t I asked to be on that team?” If so, your soft skills (or lack thereof) might be holding you back.
Call or email me! I can help you! With a healthy dose of coaching and a little bit of practice, your soft skills will get the powerful injection they need to help you achieve your next level of excellence!
Yours in personal and professional development,
Starla West, Indianapolis’ Premier Corporate Image Coach
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Excellent post! As we move up the management curve, we have to move up the skills curve too. And those skills are more and more the soft skills you describe.
Starla, I’ll call you to discuss the Attribute Index I mentioned at our first meeting. It tells us the “What” of a person’s personality; DISC Index tells us the “how”, and Values Index tells us the “why.”
Comment by James Ryan — August 6, 2010 @ 6:53 pm